Move on? Move in?

I am not very apt in the art of moving on from love. I have also not been inclined to settle myself in and do the things required to really make it work. If I could just get some sort of affirmation that the effort would be accepted. I have felt that in the past I have offered myself over and began the process of keeping the line of love intact. I know the problems I have still needed complettion or even a solid start, but I do feel the desire was there. I have at times expected more of an immediate appreciation for these desires, which is not completely fair, I am willing to do more than most people would ever recognize, but I NEED support in the process.

Sometimes I think it would be as simple as her calling me and telling me she needs me. Sometimes as easy as her taking my hand, looking in my eyes with a smile and giving me a hug. Always as hard as her explaining how sorry she was for certain actions and expressing the desire for us to work together in the first and continuing steps of our relationship.

I have not been entirely ready to do what it would really take to save a relationship - I am now. In the past it was hard for me to say what I really felt - I am telling you now. Then and now the fear of failing her and I has left me half a person - Well I am still a little scared.

I become apprehensive to share innermost thoughts and fears because I do not want somebody to hear them and them leave. To decide that based upon my twisted insides I am not good enough for them. To be rejected because of truth.

I have learned now that I am sure to be discarded without truth. To not risk the dismissal is to not allow for true acceptance.

To you who know - know this: The desire is there and the actions, though slow, have begun; please don't give up yet.