What do I do?

What do you do when a person simply does not want to hear what you are saying? I call for a simple reason, a reason that is for the benefit of the other person, and I am accosted for asking questions or making statements to clarify points. She becomes angered over any opposing viewpoints.

I am finding it hard to hold my tongue when I am obviously taking the grunt of some sort of emotional struggle. When I express the fact that I am spending my time to look up information she asked me to find, I get yelled at. When she calls back after the argument to apologize for her behavior and I agree that fighting is bad and hashing each point out to exhaustion is bad, I get yelled at after she brings up the whole conversation from earlier. How do I receive punishment for her doing what she just claimed she did not want to do? It would seem that what she really wants is to say her peace and be done with it. She would seem to not want any comments or thoughts or additional ideas - not one single word uttered in response, positive or negative.

What do I do? We have things that must be talked about and some things we want to talk about. When we talk about random topics the conversation goes great. When we talk about anything that might even closely resemble our son, things turn ugly and fast. For the rest of our lives we will are obligated to have conversations concerning the boy. Am I to look forward to a life of stress resulting in an activity people engage in everyday? There is no way either of us will ever be able to remain any semblance of happiness with a constant stressor lingering over our heads.

What do I do?

I tried to agree and remain silent when she called back. I tried to do a favor for her by looking up information. I tried to listen to her concerns. I tried explain where I was coming from. I tried.

So, what do I do?

I am sure there is something I can do, but the person who knows seems not to want to offer constructive criticism, just putdowns. I know the things I have to work through are causing difficulties, but I am trying. I hope she is too.

When all seems vain, stop, step back, and try another approach - Never give up!